we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't deserve a penis
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
