My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i dont even know how to be here
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
