Who wears a wallet chain?!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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