I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
