I look better un-naked...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
