i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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