Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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