I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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