a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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