Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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