Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
