JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
