Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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