She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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