My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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