Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
