Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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