While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
