i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
