i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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