the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
