yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
