Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
