Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
