Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize