erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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