Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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