Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize