i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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