the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize