The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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