I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
