Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
