this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I need a beard to bite.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
