Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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