you guys were way drunker than both of me
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
