I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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