I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
