Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
