I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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