Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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