Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
ok first of all what the fuck
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
