Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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