Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
