No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
