Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
