sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
