i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
