I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
