I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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