I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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