Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
