Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
