Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i came on her dog
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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