You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
