Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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