Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
