i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
