So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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