Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
